For the 3 years before COVID I avidly, constantly, and enthusiastically went to self-improvement classes. I signed up for group mentoring, one-on-one mentoring, I created my own mentoring programs, I taught classes, I created a mentoring program with my husband specifically geared towards couples. I felt so unstoppable and motivated! It seemed like I could do anything I set my mind to. Then COVID happened and the course of my life took a huge shift.

My husband started working from home. My daughter was home from school and I chose to start homeschooling full time, even after schools reopened. Not only did I find myself seemingly surrounded by people all day, I felt the tension and the fear that burbled amongst people anytime I left my house or turned on my phone. The world changed and it changed me.

I stopped going to the events and classes I had thrived on because they were no longer available. My friendliness deteriorated because people could no longer see my smile behind my mask, so what was the point of smiling at strangers. If I tried to talk to people, I felt frustrated because my quiet voice required me to constantly repeat myself, so it was easier to not talk or to say the bare minimum.

It felt like someone pushed a pause button on my life and I felt desperate to have who ever had done it to push play again so I could pick up right where I’d left off. But that didn’t ever happen. Sure the masks eventually came off, I started smiling at strangers again, and my life seemed like it was resuming its usual course, but it wasn’t, not really.

I missed the in-person events because during the pandemic, the self-improvement company I had loved had shifted all of it’s content to an online platform. I felt empty…like I couldn’t ever pick up the momentum and steam I’d had before the world and the people in it shifted.

I still feel this way sometimes. I still occasionally feel like my life is paused and it’s never going to pick up where it stopped. And it won’t. Because life goes on. Always. So here are my three tips to keep moving forward even when it feels like everything is on a standstill.

TIP #1: Face Your Reality

Instead of hiding and letting your life stay paused while you play Parking Jam 3D or watch endless episodes on Netflix (which has been known to happen–guilty), you need to face where you’re at. Until you do that–own that you’ve been wasting time doing things that aren’t getting you where you want to go or giving you the results you know you really want–the things in your life that you want to alter, will not change. You need to look at and evaluate what it is you’re spending your time to doing and ask yourself, “Is this what I really want to be doing with my life?”

TIP #2: Choose a Goal and Focus

Once you determine that you do need to change something, decide what it is you would like to move towards. Choose something that will grow you, even if it’s small. For me, I recently decided that I want to spend more time with my kids, so I have them help me with the dishes instead of doing the dishes all by myself. It’s not always fun for everyone, it’s not always an exciting goal, but if I show up with a good attitude and the intent to spend time with my kids, our relationships are strengthened. You could choose to read a personal development book, learn to play a new song on the piano or harmonica, take your kids to every park within a 30-mile radius within the next year. There are endless options of things you can do…but hardly any of them will happen without conscious effort and choice.

TIP #3: Find Your Footing

If you’re like me and you find that your footing is wobbly when you first get into (or get back into) moving forward with purpose, be kind to yourself. Imagine that you are your best friend. What kind of encouragement and leniency would you give that friend? Do that for yourself, but with belief and a push to keep moving forward, even when things get hard. If your goal is to run a 5K because you want to be healthier or you love being outside or you used to love running, but it’s been so long this seems like a good place to start, make time for your goal. Put down the phone, turn off the TV, and put time towards your goal. You can do it. I know you can because I’m seeing progress towards my goals. I have to consciously make the decision every day to move forward. You can make that choice too.

-Adrianne